LOV Wisdom #29: Who Taught You Who You Are?

What if the version of you that you’re living…

isn’t actually you?

What if it’s a story someone else wrote?

Your parents.

Your teachers.

Your friends.

Society.

Your fears.

What if they’ve been holding the pen this whole time?

Finding the Root

Roots grow downward.

They anchor your heart, mind, and soul.

Some roots show your beauty.

Some roots reveal your wounds.

But every root shapes your strength.

Everyone has a story.

And every story has a root.

Mine?

I am Deaf.

For a long time, I thought that meant less than.

I learned to shrink.

To hide.

To apologize for existing.

People’s expectations became my ceiling.

Their labels became my limits.

Until I finally realized:

They were the root of my delayed dreams.

And I decided to change that.

The Girl Who Tried to Fit In

I was the only Deaf student in my high school.

No interpreters.

Just a bulky FM system.

Teachers wearing microphones.

Eyes on me everywhere.

I tried to hide it.

But kids still mocked me.

I remember an English teacher

who returned my papers soaked in red ink.

Every mark felt like a verdict:

Not good enough.

At night, I cried alone.

During the day, I tried harder.

I worked myself into exhaustion

just to prove I belonged.

My Mother Was My Anchor

In the middle of all that…

My mother stood firm.

She fought for me.

Advocated for me.

Believed in me when I couldn’t.

Little me, held by my mother — my first protector, my first advocate, my safe place.

Because of her, I kept going.

When I Took My Power Back

I joined the speech (Forensics) team.

Yes — speech.

The very thing I struggled with most.

A Deaf woman — with a Deaf accent — standing in front of a hearing audience?

That terrified me.

Every fear showed up.

What if they don’t understand me?

What if they judge my voice?

What if I stumble?

My hands shook.

My heart raced.

My mind whispered lies.

But I stood there anyway.

This is me — a Deaf girl choosing courage over fear.

Because courage isn’t the absence of fear —

it’s choosing to show up with it.

I practiced for hours.

In mirrors.

With teachers.

With my parents.

I wanted to quit so many times.

But I didn’t.

And somehow…

I started winning.

Awards.

Recognition.

Confidence.

That’s when I learned something life-changing:

My roots didn’t weaken me.

They anchored me.

The Truth

Being Deaf is the root of my identity.

But living in a hearing world

made me resent that root.

I felt “not Deaf enough.”

But also “too Deaf.”

So I asked myself:

Where do I belong?

And I found my answer:

I belong where I feel SAFE.

Where I can say out loud:

I AM ME.

If someone can’t accept that —

they’re handing me scissors.

I cut the tie.

Because:

They are not the author of my story.

I hold the pen.

I write my own life.

It took me YEARS to learn that.

Your Turn

Pause.

Breathe.

Who told you who you are?

What labels are you still carrying

that don’t belong to you?

Write it down.

Cry if you need to .

That’s healing.

And say it with me:

I AM ME.

Remember This

Healing is like the gym.

You’re sore at first.

You don’t see change right away.

But every day…

you get stronger.

Be patient with yourself.

Your becoming takes time.

This is where your journey begins.

With love,

Ana